An Investment

I have endowed my interest in the lives of lost souls,
Or a drought of cleanliness on my part.
Wavering away the shackles placed upon my heart.
To love you.
A friend indeed of merits.
Deliberate in my endeavor to consult your affirmation.
But can it be seen?
Do you notice me?

Pronounce me dead.
For this hurt I cannot bare.
Force me into exile.
So my worth is not in vain.
Loyalty is what I ask.
But not yielded in the fruits that I sow.

The reaping of my decisions has become known.
Caught up in an emotion and acting upon it with clear intentions.
Deceit hunts the soul.
As I imitate my own delusion.
Truth is. I am hurting.
Shadowed in smiles.
A plea.
A cry.
Listen.

I hold on further.
Bestowed by faith.
Carrying out the battle to exist in your world,
As I covet to hear from me today, tomorrow, and yesterday.

Optimism abides within.

Voices in my head

The season ends and the air we once grew accustomed is Fresher, Aged -refined.
I inhale only to realize a glimpse of me.
Not wanting to acknowledge the hurt, the pain, the guilt, the disgust.
I move on.
Life happens.
Does it not?

I write renewed.
I write polished.
I write optimistic.
I write emotional.
I write stronger.

A season ends.
A new one begins.
Wow!
Where did all the time transcend?
Did I live in the moment?

The future is unclear.
Anonymous.
Dimmed by the unknown.
How does one remain content and focused without losing eye to the very thing that is important to their existence?
When will I know?
Or do you just know?

I continue to persist.
Carrying all my baggage.
Reality is now.