The clock inside my head has begun to start ticking.
Tick Tock.
Time for me is of the essence.
Whether to turn left or go to my right.
I am a mess or at least I know I am not my best.
Understanding what I need to do to begin this process called life,
I am behind my time.
My arrival has long been delayed.
Tick Tock.
We will begin boarding momentarily.
And so I wait.
Waiting for me to live up to my expectations and the better part of me speaks volumes of truth, wisdom, and knowledge.
I am fearless.
Tick Tock.
Now boarding all passengers, but I cannot board just yet.
I am lost, afraid, and unwilling because I know my outlook is not good.
Not right now in the midst of all this turmoil.
Confusion consumes me.
Tick Tock.
Final boarding call.
But I find myself still sitting.
Wondering, daydreaming, and caught off guard by my own irresponsibility, carelessness, and lack of fulfillment.
Tick. Tock.
My timing is off.
I see a brighter day ahead realizing that I am too late.
My gates have been locked and all opportunities are forgone.
I have arrived.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Nine Days and Counting!
So, my Boise Real World Experience is about to come to an end. WOW, how the summer has flown by. There are so many things I want to learn and explore, but as the saying goes, "Make the most of every experience." And I guess if I had only not took a nap or facebooked until I could not any longer. But hey, "LIFE IS LIFE." I have no regrets. My experience here as been rewarding, challenging, and FUN. I have met some amazing people and learned a lot from our interactions with one another.
The first week I got here I must say was a trying time for me - a cultural shock and unfamilar territory. But GOD will never put more on you than you can bear. I stuck through this race and can see the finish line. Who would have thunk?- a favorite saying of mine - but BOISE, IDAHO? Ha! I came, saw, and CONQUERED!
As this once never ending journey comes to a closure in my life and reality begins to unfold, I am thankful to my new buddies which I have made - Mary, Josh, Dawn, and Rese. I have honestly learned a lot from each of you and I hope and wish you all the best in your future endeavors. I am a better person because of you!
The first week I got here I must say was a trying time for me - a cultural shock and unfamilar territory. But GOD will never put more on you than you can bear. I stuck through this race and can see the finish line. Who would have thunk?- a favorite saying of mine - but BOISE, IDAHO? Ha! I came, saw, and CONQUERED!
As this once never ending journey comes to a closure in my life and reality begins to unfold, I am thankful to my new buddies which I have made - Mary, Josh, Dawn, and Rese. I have honestly learned a lot from each of you and I hope and wish you all the best in your future endeavors. I am a better person because of you!
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
It's Amazing How Time Flies!
Just three days ago, I celebrated another birthday. This year I spent my birthday in Yellowstone National Park camping out in "Bear Country." A little apprehensive to my first real camping experience and sleeping in a tent, I grew to realize much about the road ahead of me... thus the creation of a new blog post. Buckle up!
I ran across a job posting at my undergraduate institution and thoroughly considered about applying for the position. I must say, I was eager and excited to go back to a place I called home for 5 years. Miss State was a place I learned a lot about me. Every chance I get the opportunity to go back and visit, I am in awe of the continous progress and the memorizes of my time there. It's amazing how time flies!
As a senior in highschool, I will admit I did not do my homework. I did not assertively apply for scholarships and invest time in looking into different colleges. Yes, I did sign up on a scholarship website but was too lazy to take a proactive stance on my educational pursuit. I knew without a doubt I would major in education. I received different materials in the mail from various schools and came to the conclusion out-of-state schools would not be an option - I did not want to run into to debt paying for my education.
As time for h.s. graduation approached, one of my good friends and I decided to both go to Delta State for their excellent education program. We went to visit campus and learn more about the opportunities available. I was not impressed at all. Despite my experience, I applied and was accepted. Man, did things change in a short amount of time. As a member of FBLA, my teacher wanted the class to take a trip her alma mater -Miss. State- for a visit. Like love at first sight, the first time I sat food on campus I knew it was HOME. I would not trade my MAROON and WHITE experience for the WORLD.
So know as I ponder my future ambitions and next steps, I wonder if I am ready to go back and explore a place which means a lot to me? Or should I explore other avenues and keep those memorizes of what I once had where they are - in the past? Or maybe begin to create new ones? Um... there is much to think about...
I ran across a job posting at my undergraduate institution and thoroughly considered about applying for the position. I must say, I was eager and excited to go back to a place I called home for 5 years. Miss State was a place I learned a lot about me. Every chance I get the opportunity to go back and visit, I am in awe of the continous progress and the memorizes of my time there. It's amazing how time flies!
As a senior in highschool, I will admit I did not do my homework. I did not assertively apply for scholarships and invest time in looking into different colleges. Yes, I did sign up on a scholarship website but was too lazy to take a proactive stance on my educational pursuit. I knew without a doubt I would major in education. I received different materials in the mail from various schools and came to the conclusion out-of-state schools would not be an option - I did not want to run into to debt paying for my education.
As time for h.s. graduation approached, one of my good friends and I decided to both go to Delta State for their excellent education program. We went to visit campus and learn more about the opportunities available. I was not impressed at all. Despite my experience, I applied and was accepted. Man, did things change in a short amount of time. As a member of FBLA, my teacher wanted the class to take a trip her alma mater -Miss. State- for a visit. Like love at first sight, the first time I sat food on campus I knew it was HOME. I would not trade my MAROON and WHITE experience for the WORLD.
So know as I ponder my future ambitions and next steps, I wonder if I am ready to go back and explore a place which means a lot to me? Or should I explore other avenues and keep those memorizes of what I once had where they are - in the past? Or maybe begin to create new ones? Um... there is much to think about...
Friday, July 06, 2007
What about yo Friends!
Today, I came to the realization of what it means to be a friend. Life's can be crazy! But through the thick and thin its great to know you have some people who support you in every endeavor. In every phase of life, every season change, and the moments you find the most critical, who do you lean or call on during these circumstances? These people are what I call friends. Sometimes you lose them and sometimes you win them. I can say that I have had a lot of friends over the course of my existence. Most of my friendships from childhood till now have cease to last but I have gained valuable tokens as a result. Friends are not meant to last forever. Just like fashion, what may be considered "IN" loses its appeal the next season, but never fear it could eventually come back in style later.
The notion of meeting your "REAL FRIENDS" in college can be true for some and differ for others. What about those individuals who never go to college? Regardless of if they went to college with you are not, I've come to the conclusion that your closest friends are the ones who share in your struggles, who dream with you, who support you when you fall and who pick you up after such shortcomings! Friendship does not require a phone call every day or every week! But its does suggest being there for each another. Friendship is the equivalent of love - in my opinion. As the scripture goes:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. I Corinthians 13:4-8."
Yes, I can admit that I tried to make some friendships work. But in the end, it was just an effort gone to waste in certain circumstances. Yes, you grow from these experiences and relationships can become stronger. I just encourage you to not become a fool in the midst. Be honest with yourself -thats most important. Is the friendship really going anywhere? I don't like a lot a baggage. Get rid of what you can. You be the judge! I am reminded of a song by TLC, "What about yo FRIENDS."
And just when you thought the friendship was over, look at what the rain brought in!
The notion of meeting your "REAL FRIENDS" in college can be true for some and differ for others. What about those individuals who never go to college? Regardless of if they went to college with you are not, I've come to the conclusion that your closest friends are the ones who share in your struggles, who dream with you, who support you when you fall and who pick you up after such shortcomings! Friendship does not require a phone call every day or every week! But its does suggest being there for each another. Friendship is the equivalent of love - in my opinion. As the scripture goes:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. I Corinthians 13:4-8."
Yes, I can admit that I tried to make some friendships work. But in the end, it was just an effort gone to waste in certain circumstances. Yes, you grow from these experiences and relationships can become stronger. I just encourage you to not become a fool in the midst. Be honest with yourself -thats most important. Is the friendship really going anywhere? I don't like a lot a baggage. Get rid of what you can. You be the judge! I am reminded of a song by TLC, "What about yo FRIENDS."
And just when you thought the friendship was over, look at what the rain brought in!
Wednesday, July 04, 2007
Today is Independence Day!
All around the United States you will find its citizens full of Pride and Patriotism celebrating their Independence from Great Britain on July 4, 1776. What a great day in the history of this Nation. I ponder though constantly if this day fully represents all so-called Americans independence - I feel as though it does not.
These words spoken by Fredrick Douglass on July 5, 1852 give resonance to why I feel as such:
"What, to the American slave, is your 4th of July? I answer; a day that reveals to him, more than all other days in the year, the gross injustice and cruelty to which he is the constant victim. To him, your celebration is a sham; your boasted liberty, an unholy license; your national greatness, swelling vanity; your sounds of rejoicing are empty and heartless; your denunciation of tyrants, brass fronted impudence; your shouts of liberty and equality, hollow mockery; your prayers and hymns, your sermons and thanksgivings, with all your religious parade and solemnity, are, to Him, mere bombast, fraud, deception, impiety, and hypocrisy-a thin veil to cover up crimes which would disgrace a nation of savages. There is not a nation on the earth guilty of practices more shocking and bloody than are the people of the United States, at this very hour. "
http://www.historyisaweapon.org/defcon1/douglassjuly4.html
These words give depth to our American history, a past so full of deceit and lies. A past full of pain that I cannot fully commit to feeling free! Happy Memorial Day - a recollection of how slavery, oppression, and discrimination is still present in our country. How I do not feel as equal as most of my colleagues and how we are still enslaved socioeconomically - in our education, in our jobs, and in our very own communities.
Though I celebrate the Fourth of July every year. For me, it is a different day of remembrance -a different day of pride and patriotism. This day is a memoir to my ancestors -whom I must always pay tribute. There is still a war going on and a fight for Human Rights and Civility. I represent those individuals in spirit and truth. And though I celebrate my independence I carry on their dreams and hopes for a better day ahead. Today is Independence Day! I am ready to see the fireworks.
These words spoken by Fredrick Douglass on July 5, 1852 give resonance to why I feel as such:
"What, to the American slave, is your 4th of July? I answer; a day that reveals to him, more than all other days in the year, the gross injustice and cruelty to which he is the constant victim. To him, your celebration is a sham; your boasted liberty, an unholy license; your national greatness, swelling vanity; your sounds of rejoicing are empty and heartless; your denunciation of tyrants, brass fronted impudence; your shouts of liberty and equality, hollow mockery; your prayers and hymns, your sermons and thanksgivings, with all your religious parade and solemnity, are, to Him, mere bombast, fraud, deception, impiety, and hypocrisy-a thin veil to cover up crimes which would disgrace a nation of savages. There is not a nation on the earth guilty of practices more shocking and bloody than are the people of the United States, at this very hour. "
http://www.historyisaweapon.org/defcon1/douglassjuly4.html
These words give depth to our American history, a past so full of deceit and lies. A past full of pain that I cannot fully commit to feeling free! Happy Memorial Day - a recollection of how slavery, oppression, and discrimination is still present in our country. How I do not feel as equal as most of my colleagues and how we are still enslaved socioeconomically - in our education, in our jobs, and in our very own communities.
Though I celebrate the Fourth of July every year. For me, it is a different day of remembrance -a different day of pride and patriotism. This day is a memoir to my ancestors -whom I must always pay tribute. There is still a war going on and a fight for Human Rights and Civility. I represent those individuals in spirit and truth. And though I celebrate my independence I carry on their dreams and hopes for a better day ahead. Today is Independence Day! I am ready to see the fireworks.
Monday, July 02, 2007
Its my DUE SEASON...
This past Sunday at church the messaged delivered by the minister made me re-think a lot about where I am as a Christian. The title of his message was "Its my DUE SEASON." Hence, the title of this posting! The scripture was taken from Galatians 6:1-10.
As Christians we have a responsibility to help our Brothers and Sisters in Christ! If we see our fellow Christians struggling it is our duty to help them back into the right direction - especially when the spirit leads us to do such things. "Carry Them, Restore Them, Lift Them Up, and Love Them." We cannot allow "man" to hinder us from helping our fellow Christians because if we do then we miss out on our blessings from God.
Futhermore, none of us are too important for God. He does not care about all of the good things we do if we do not love his sons and daughters like Jesus loved us. If we think we are better then our brothers and sisters we do not have love in our hearts. Instead of looking at your neighbors faults, you must examine yourself. This is an important point I had to learn for myself. I made myself feel like I was more important than my brothers and sisters who I considered to be "in sin." When I, myself, was out in the world doing some of the same things they were. Instead of going to my fellow Christians in a humble fashion and lending them a helping hand, I ostracized them and put myself up on a pedestal in order to make myself feel like I was better. God does not like this. Who am I to say I am better than anyone else? We all have fallen short of God's glory and no one is better than the other. Because of this I have missed out on my blessings from God.
When we ask God, "Why don't I ever see my harvest?" Ask yourself am I doing what the Lord God asks of me to do and is there anyone hindering me from receiving my blessings? If you sow good things, good things will come back to you. It's a win-win situation! As the saying goes, "when you know better, you do better." Now that I know better its time for my DUE SEASON.
God Bless!
As Christians we have a responsibility to help our Brothers and Sisters in Christ! If we see our fellow Christians struggling it is our duty to help them back into the right direction - especially when the spirit leads us to do such things. "Carry Them, Restore Them, Lift Them Up, and Love Them." We cannot allow "man" to hinder us from helping our fellow Christians because if we do then we miss out on our blessings from God.
Futhermore, none of us are too important for God. He does not care about all of the good things we do if we do not love his sons and daughters like Jesus loved us. If we think we are better then our brothers and sisters we do not have love in our hearts. Instead of looking at your neighbors faults, you must examine yourself. This is an important point I had to learn for myself. I made myself feel like I was more important than my brothers and sisters who I considered to be "in sin." When I, myself, was out in the world doing some of the same things they were. Instead of going to my fellow Christians in a humble fashion and lending them a helping hand, I ostracized them and put myself up on a pedestal in order to make myself feel like I was better. God does not like this. Who am I to say I am better than anyone else? We all have fallen short of God's glory and no one is better than the other. Because of this I have missed out on my blessings from God.
When we ask God, "Why don't I ever see my harvest?" Ask yourself am I doing what the Lord God asks of me to do and is there anyone hindering me from receiving my blessings? If you sow good things, good things will come back to you. It's a win-win situation! As the saying goes, "when you know better, you do better." Now that I know better its time for my DUE SEASON.
God Bless!
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