Day-by-Day

You know throughout life we try out a lot of things. This can evolve around trying to become the status-quo or challenging it! Sometimes these experiences can be good and sometimes these things can be bad! Moreover, these opportunities make us into an ever-evolving product of incompletion. Day-by-day I question what will my end result be and ponder on if I will be happy with what I see?

I have realized in these twenty something years of mine that I create myself. Yes, I have been socialized by my childhood, community, and life experiences but can I not demystify those encounters and construct my own ideologies and self-constructs? I believe so!

Leading to my point of writing today, I realized some things about myself that I must improve. Honestly, there are a lot of things that I must come to terms with and understanding what that means! Processing and thus dealing with the consequences I have become so afraid to confront are just the beginning.

We learn so much somehow it gets lost and does not come into practice until the aftermath of our choices grabs us. Its like the Ah-ha moment! If I had only thought long term and not in the present. I like to describe this situation as doing what I need for right then and there and not focusing on the consequences of my actions.. I want the world to evolve around me and when things do not go as planned I blame it on external things and not except that it was ME.. My fault my bad and process ... For right now, I only ask that you excuse me and know that I am an ever-evolving product of incompletion - I am not a final product!

Life is Life

It has been a while since I got off my laziness and decided to urge myself to write. Yet, I have had people to encourage me to write; I just have not been in the mood to do such things. I believe things happen for a reason and those moments in the past will forever be untold, but I will always have memorizes.

Right now I am currently is Boise, Idaho working on my summer internship at Boise State University. This experience has had its ups and downs but I am learning to make the most of it. Though at moments, I cannot see the big picture - Life is Life. And I have to love it for what it is and aspires to become.

Be strong, be kind, and love everyone.

There will be some terrible days and oh some hills to climb, but those good days you have to hold on to because they will not last forever. Love yourself, if you don’t then who will. Forget all the drama, leave it to the actors – let them play their roles and cast yourself in the pleasures of life. Find your passion and stand up for it because it is what makes you sane. Don’t be afraid, for what is fear? - a tool that hinders you from reaching your truest potential. We are all great and we should not be unwilling to express who we are! Life is Life!!

One LOVE!

I know of Love ONCE

I knew of love once… It had been in a short time ago…. Perfect, Patient, Kind and what I thought was true... Timing was only of the essence... At least that was what I only knew... I had acquired everything that I ever wanted in a micro span of moments... I tried it, explored it, and became blinded by nothing... For that was what it was. Nothing... I blame my lust on my Youth... Inexperienced, loyal, giving, and oh but a fool who knew not of LOVE… What it meant to actually love and how it should be reflected… So vividly and so anxiously I asked for it. It was me! Cant seem to point the finger at no one else, but ME! And so I suffered for nothing, I cried for nothing, I longed for nothing. Pity pity pity me who was only set up by ME. And though I weep, I grew, And though I grew, I strengthened, And though I strengthened, I LOVED ME.

"One Me"

It has been a while since I last wrote, but here I am today. I have to make more of a personal commitment to get my thoughts down on paper for a particular moment or phase in my life. I believe these moments are monumental and play an instrumental role in my manifestation. I had a discussion today with an old co-worker about various things in life and it’s amazing to have friends that really listen to you and you know without a doubt they are honestly listening to what you have to say. It’s called a true friendship. I constantly debate back and forth with people about being who you are and not having to change for anybody. There is a difference in knowing better than just doing things out of ignorance. Follow me a little bit. I am person who loves to have autonomy to do the unimaginable and I need that room to fully blossom. We all develop and motivate ourselves inwardly. For many reasons, I choose to remain this free-loving individual who loves to laugh, who loves to cry, who loves to make the most out of life and DREAM DREAMS. Can I not depict that in my actions? Can I not be able to freely express myself in my MANNERISMS? Can I not just be ME? Is this not enough? In my conversions today with this friend, it was okay to curse every now and then. It was okay to say hey I am having a bad day and this is the reason why. It felt good just to let it all go and let this person understand me for who I am. Forget all this fake chatter and dehumanization of character or originality. There is only one me and I want to be that person. Everyday I am changing and when I wake up I have to re-introduce myself to ME. It felt good in those moments to just be ONE ME.

WHEN WE REALIZE!!

When we realize…

Today, momentarily I am at a default….
Hinder by my past, and learning from my repast
I am unaware that I must continue on,
Not dwell in its midst but comprehend its hidden agenda,
When we realize that our past is merely a tool that we use to structure our daily existence,
Then we are ready to move on and grow.

We cannot continue to coat our lives with deceit and lies,
Instead we must take our reality as it paints a portrait to who we are,
Unlocking those hidden doors that we once dared not go,
And making a pathway for a better tomorrow.
When we realize our faults we learn.
And from those lessons we able to justify what we once did not know.

It is not our jobs to sympathize on our many mistakes, disappoints, and set backs,
Relatively lets us embrace them and inform others as they may attack once again.
As knowledge is the basic tool of competence which leads us to success.
When we realize that there are seasons, many seasons that we many encounter- some seasons good, other seasons bad than we realize the framework of our subsistence. It is in our mindset that we are able to overcome any possibility.

Give me my liberty!

This week I have been impacted by the most rewarding and challenging situations. As I stated in my last note, I am more than a conqueror. For so long, we live in this shell waiting or prolonging who we are as individuals - our very potential lives within us - it is our existence. We are all unique and all so different, but we are in so many ways the same. Its been a long time since I could overcome the eyes that are upon me and I still find that it is a challenge today. I am Lamonte and no one is exactly like me. There is an individual that dwells within me and he is waiting to introduce himself to you, but you have to be willing to except who he is. If you find for some reason that you are not ready to empathize who he is, then do not even bother to speak, look, or disturb me. For this reason, I am grateful that I am able to keep living positively and I am not hindered by all the negative energy that you are throwing into my direction. Who I was yesterday is forever gone. I am living for today, tomorrow, and the future. My past is only a recollection of forgone events that I can no longer change, but can remember. It is from this moment, and my future moments that you must look at, for they are where I once was and shall no longer return. All I can ask of thee, is to give me my liberty that you actually have no control over - you just thought you did. I AM FREE!

Brand New

If anyone knows me best, they know that I am a thinker! Some nights my thoughts hunt my sleep that I find it impossible to get rest. But as my mind wandered today walking across Western's campus, I began to think back over my life. As random as it may seem, I wanted to ponder on this for a little while. Have I established myself completely? And who is it that I say I am? Quite often, I constantly re-evaluate myself and assess my strengths and weaknesses. Since the beginning of this year, I have made drastic changes to become highly effective and live up to my very potential. Though I may have failed in some ways, I have excelled in many areas. I entitled this blog as "BRAND NEW." Here is to a new ME! And that is REAL.Everyday we learn something new about others and mostly important about SELF. We are all powerful as can be and it is US who choose to DREAM DREAMS.I am so blessed and the things that are happening to me now are only through his GRACE... so it is my responsibility to appreciate that and thank him for his many blessings!Now instead of being so hard on myself, I give everything to GOD. For in him I find my strength, my salvation, and my GLORY! And I am "BRAND NEW" in his eyes and that's all that MATTERS.

A Signature of Success

It was not by surprise that one day I called my "Little Brother" to check up on him that the words from his mouth might come by SURPRISE. "I am running for Miss. State SA President." To my array, I paused and thought about it for a quick second, when will this boy ever stop! He just keeps going and accomplishing. What is it that this boy cannot do? What is next on his agenda of many things to do? He has tired to show me up in so many ways... but I think him running for SA President surpasses my many accomplishments in COLLEGE.
Even though he may not be my real brother, I kind of consider him to be. This young man is Jeremy Lamar Johnson. I got the opportunity to meet this guy when I was a Summer Orientation Leader in 2003. From then until today, he has grown into an outstanding BLACK man and leader for Miss. State, his community, and to myself. I cannot say that I did not give him a hard time when we first became aquainted. He, of course, at the time wanted to become an "ALPHA MAN." So, I challenged him quite a bit. I am sure today, he appreciates those moments when I was not so kind. Needless to say, I am so proud of his many accomplishments thus far in his college career. His uses the words, "A Signature of Success" to run his campaign slogan. What a great choice of words to highlight who he is as an individual. It is but with the signing of his name that all can say that he is a story of true SUCCESS.
Elections will be held on Feb. 20th on-campus and I hope that I will make it down for this occasion. Regardless of the final outcome, he will forever be a winner in this great endeavor. I wish you best of luck FRAT.

How Did You Spend Your MLK Day?

Where do I begin this article? Well here goes... Like many holidays we pay tribute to the symbolism behind each one. For instance, Thanksgiving we reflect on the things we are so blessed to have and we spend the holiday with our loves ones. For many of us, it is a tradition to cook large meals that consist of turkey, dressing, sweet potato pie, mac-n-cheese, and everything that we can IMAGINE.
But what do we do for Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Day? I noticed in one of my colleague's planner -he wrote "A DAY OFF WORK." I questioned myself and pondered to ask what did u actually do that day? For me, I attended the schedule of events that were planned for the Bowling Green Community. We first started off with the Annual MLK Breakfast, a march through downtown, and finally a church service. It was ironic; well I guess it was not ironic to see the room full of my RACE. What do other RACES do to celebrate MLK DAY? I am not trying to point fingers but is this not an important day to celebrate in the HISTORY of AMERICA. I am one to question the overall purpose of this day? Is it just a day for my RACE to celebrate or is it a day for us all... ALL RACES?? As I marched through downtown Bowling Green, I remember and gave tribute to those individuals who once marched. I gave tribute not only to King, but to Harriet Tubman, Oprah Winfrey, Thurgood Marshall, Sojourner Truth, Jackie Robinson, and the list goes on. Though we do call it MLK Day, I celebrate all the other individuals who fought for OUR civil rights that are not recognized. Even as I marched, people starred in their businesses at ME and wondered WHY WE MARCH ON!
I reminiscence on my childhood days where my GRANDFATHER would let my brother, sister, and me listen to the speeches of Dr. King on A-tracks. My favorite King speech is the "DRUM MAJOR INSTINCT." I grew a greater appreciation for KING and how HE PAVED the way for ME and OTHERS! No matter where I AM in the FUTURE. I will MARCH ONWARD and UPWARD not just on MLK DAY, but everyday! I do question, what did you do for MLK DAY? Is it just a day off of work or a MOMENTUS occasion for AMERICA. But regardless if I march alone, I TOO SING AMERICA!

"My traveler's kit"

Today, well in fact this past week, I wanted to start a change for the New Year! In life, I believe everything happens for a reason. It is important to always have an agenda/plan in mind when starting a change or new obstacle in life. For me it is carrying my "Traveler's Kit." With this kit comes three essential items that will help me on my journey into RECONSTRUCTION/REPAIR, those items are simply: A map, compass, and a final destination. The map I will use as a guide/template that will "map" out where I need to go (It is my beginning - where I am currently and where I am trying to get to ) my Final Destination. The compass I will use to keep my direction. Sometimes when we dream dreams and something can always get in the way. My compass is there to remind me how to stay on track. And finally my Final Destination is my VISION. And once I have reached this destination, I will look back and say JOB WELL DONE.. only to start back on another Journey!!

My Last Days at Mississippi State University

I have finally come to the realization that I am PHInally leaving my home for the past 5 years. And I must mention that is has been a journey that I will never forget..... I have to be very honest and say that i was not a very focused individual when i PHirst arrived on this lovely campus. It took my a while to really see the point of why I was in college and how these years would have such a PROFOUND impact on the rest of my LIFE... It was Black Legends that helped me to get my foot in the door and PHInally realize my purpose... LEGENDS like Zackory D. Kirk, Keva Martin, Lynn Parker, Dan Coleman, Miss Genice Allen, Nikki Cox, Angela Maxwell, Trey Brown, Tiffany Henderson, too many to name but they all have helped me to develop into the PERSON I am TODAY... Thank you all so much..... It was through my involvement with the Black Student Alliance - the premier STUDENT ORGANIZATION on our campus that served as an educational tool to get me motivated to BECOME more involved and love my UNIVERSITY.. Throughout my years here, I have met and made so many wonderful memorizes that will always keep my heart glad.

The Antwone Fisher Story

I can so relate to the Antwone Fisher Story! It is honestly the best movie ever made in America. An inspiring story about a young Black man, who defeats everyone that tries to destroy him. We can all relate to Antwone as he searches within and finds the little child inside. "Who will cry for the little boy, that cries himself to sleep?" Man the movie is so powerful! My favorite by far. The best words from the movie are... "No matter what you tried 2 do 2 me. You couldn't destory me! I'm still standing! I'm still strong! And I always will be!" Man those are some powerful words. If you have not seen the movie yet, better go buy it and watch it at least once a week... It will forever change your life!